A Housewife History #1 (Orange County, Season 1)
We all start somewhere...
March 21st, 2006. The Real Housewives are born. For reference, I was four years old.
The inaugural season of the massive reality tv franchise is a stark contrast from what it is now. Creator Scott Dunlop wanted a reality show that satirized his neighbors in Coto de Caza, a Los Angeles-adjacent gated community. He thought people outside his gated community would find their attitudes and first-world problems amusing. He was right.
Despite the ladies’ wealth, though, Orange County had humble beginnings. The early housewife days leaned more into documentary style, focusing on family dynamics rather than the wives’ relationships with each other. Andy Cohen didn’t even host a reunion in this season!
The lack of messy drama didn’t matter much in 2006, when reality tv was relatively new and exciting. As uneventful as this season seems now, it is still a historical artifact, and I am here to document it.
The Players
Vicki Gunvalson
Ah, Vicki. Arguably the original housewife, despite the actual casting order. I say this because she was the only original cast member to stay on full-time well into the 2010s. We don’t know much about her now, but some huge controversies await her in the later seasons.
Vicki lives to work in this season. That’s literally her entire storyline. She’s very proud to work in insurance sales and is always talking about how hard she’s working to make money for her family. A hustle mindset, one might say. Her husband and children often express their annoyance with her for being controlling and neurotic. Two great requirements for a real housewife!
Jeana Keough
Jeana, to me, does not fit the real housewife mold at all. But at the time, the mold didn’t exist. She seems pretty normal, which on reality tv translates to boring. In season one, her biggest concern is getting her son onto a college baseball team. She sticks around for a few seasons though, so audiences must have liked her. She is a real estate agent here, but doesn’t talk about her job as much as Vicki does.
Jo De La Rosa
Jo was 24 in the first season, making her the youngest housewife in the franchise. Ever. I enjoyed her bubbly personality, but most of her storyline revolved around her awful ex boyfriend, Slade. She seems to be doing well now, though, and I wish her the best!
Lauri Peterson
Lauri was a great casting choice. She first came to us divorced and broke, wishing for the same lifestyle she had with her wealthy ex-husband. Nevertheless, she pulled herself up by the bootstraps and got herself a job working for, guess who: Vicki.
Lauri was candid about her parenting struggles. At the time, she had a daughter in her 20s, a teenage son sentenced to juvie, and a daughter still in elementary school. It was easy to empathize with her, and I’m sure early viewers found her a compelling character.
Kimberly Bryant
Kimberly was the first one-season wonder. She was fairly normal, but still personable and likeable, making her a better “normal” than Jeana. She had a cancer scare on the show, but it was thankfully a false alarm. Still, knowing that her children were genetically pre-disposed to skin cancer, she moved her family to Chicago so they wouldn’t have as much sun exposure.
The Taglines, Ranked
If you’re new to the show, each housewife gets a tagline in the show’s intro, which is a short montage of the cast. The intro also plays a thematic jingle, which is different in each city. Watch this if you have no idea what I’m talking about.
The now-iconic Real Housewives staple began, it seems, as a total accident. The taglines in this season are just out of context sound bytes from the show. Which kind of makes them funnier, actually. They’re not very catchy, but some of them are memorable.
Jeana: “It’s just money and you can’t take it with you.” Ok Jeana. She thought she ate. Also, you literally can take money with you?
Jo: “He’s pretty much keeping me.” Her boyfriend sucks. Need I say more?
Kimberly: “85% of the women around here have had breast implants.” Points for being funny out of context. Thank you for the statistical information, Kimberly!
Lauri: “Are the police involved?” Again, points for being funny out of context. This was taken from a phone call with her son’s teacher before he was sent to juvie, which is not funny, but during the intro it always makes me laugh.
Vicki: “I don’t wanna get old!” It’s so jarring and she sounds genuinely frightened. It’s such a funny way to open the show.
The Reali-tea
Like I said earlier, this season is largely a snooze. I’ve pretty much already told you everything you need to know about this season. Much of the tea, unfortunately, revolves around Slade, Jo’s thirsty ex— another common real housewife trait.
About halfway through the season, Jo and Slade race each other in go-karts. Jo loses, and her punishment is cleaning the house for Slade. Not too bad, right? Wrong. She has to wear a sexy maid outfit the whole time. Cringe!
Slade (32) wanted Jo (24) to be a traditional stay-at-home mom to his kids from a previous relationship. Jo was rightfully bored out of her mind and decided to get a job, which earned an angry lecture from Slade. He framed it as Jo making decisions about their shared future without him. Have I mentioned that Slade is the worst?
At the end of the season, it’s revealed that they broke up (the crowd cheers) and then got back together (the crowd boos). It’s also revealed that, while they were broken up, Slade hooked up with… Lauri?! The ladies discuss it a little at the “reunion”, but they don’t fight about it.
I say “reunion” because it was filmed in Vicki’s backyard and the women sat on stools around a box TV. No Andy Cohen in sight! And half of the reunion was confessional footage of the women reflecting on their experience. They talked about being recognized in public by fans of the show, which was wild to me. I couldn’t find any ratings information for this season, but clearly it was a hit. Somehow.
Kimberly did not attend the backyard reunion. Jo, in a confessional, mentioned Kimberly being upset after some radio interview the ladies did together. Jo claimed none of them had heard from her since then. In modern housewives, this detail would likely spawn three seasons of arguments. But in 2006, it was merely a passing comment.
Some other memorable moments include: Jo flirting with Jeana’s 18 year-old son (weird), and Vicki and Lauri’s business trip (Lauri had to stay in a different hotel because she couldn’t afford the one Vicki was staying at. Vicki is a treat).
Overall Watchability: 1/5
I’m going to give each season a watchability rating, for new viewers. Here’s the five-point scale, explained:
1: Skip.
2: Dry, but not totally a skip. Watch a few episodes and fast-forward through boring scenes.
3: A good season that is important for show context. Still, it’s probably not necessary to watch the whole thing if you’re not a huge fan with an insane need to achieve 100% completion (me).
4: A great, entertaining season! Definitely count it in your watch schedule.
5: Must-see television. The Housewives at their peak.
If you’ve read this far, the one star rating probably came as no surprise. It was interesting to see where the housewives began, but I’ll likely never revisit this season. Orange County has a pretty slow start, so I don’t recommend this as your first exposure to the Real Housewives.